Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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