whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
