Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
