ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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