dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
