Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she peed on how many people?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
