at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
