Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
