Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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