I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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