Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
