I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So squirting runs in the family.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
