Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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