I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
