4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize