she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
