3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
love makes seman taste better
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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