I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize