I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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