she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
