A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize