garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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