You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
