Don't make out with my wife yet
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
