Christians are straight up FREAKS
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
