yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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