I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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