Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
