she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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