I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
