I think my vagina is haunted
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
