How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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