why didn't you poke me back
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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