She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
