looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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