She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
