is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
