She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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