if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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