his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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