She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
