you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't turn off my feet"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
