They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
