somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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