She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
