What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
