I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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