she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
