He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
