Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
