i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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