I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
