At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
