Fuck appropriateness.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize