I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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