Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
