we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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