i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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