her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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