windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
