i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
