trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
