party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
