school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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