Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
