Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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