I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
