had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
