Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
