I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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