Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
