This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
