what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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