I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
