remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize