Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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