My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
