**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize